A Trip for Two

It is a holiday today and between tidying around, nailing some pictures and bits and pieces to the walls, and sorting out boxes of papers and forgotten thingies, I thought I would plonk about on a list ready for the next trip into Algonquin Park. Sure, I talk that I do not do, but that I do not do, I would rather talk something than just sit and mope about it. Read that sentence again - it does make sense. Read it twice, it is a pleasure to behold.

Listen: I think I will administer a larger-than-recommended dose of Tylenol Cold & Flu caplets to my lovely wife one evening, and once she is in the appropriate somnolent state, wrap her in a sleeping bag and drive her up to the park - she may awaken from her soporific slumber during the canoe trip into the camp, but by then it will be too late and she is going to have to enjoy a few days of perfect Algonquin solitude, rather than a nice hotel somewhere. Yes, that sounds planned and well considered. Oh, the plotting...

For the kitchen and eating of the trip, we will bring ('we' assuming a reciprocity of agency between my temporarily drugged and complacent wife and myself) the following items:

  • Cooking Pot - to bubble and boil on the fire
  • Frying pan - for pancakes and eggs
  • Nalgene bottle - big/small
  • 2 Mugs - for coffee and drinks
  • Locust-wood spoon, 1 metal spoon - because I've only really carved one good for a trip
  • Zip lock bags - to hold the food stuffs and gear and bits and pieces
  • Powdered creamer - instead of milk
  • Lemon Drink Crystals - to flavour the lake I store in the Nalgene bottles
  • Beef jerky - protein, light, tasty, add to stews and pasta
  • Chili pepper flakes - heat
  • Instant Mashed Potatoes - comfort and medium-term energy
  • Pasta side-dishes - deliciousness
  • Pancake batter - breakfast treat
  • Salt & Pepper - rap music from the eighties
  • Coffee & Sugar - tastiness
  • Pasta & Fettuccine sauce powder - bulky food
  • Droewors -from the butcher shop where I used to work - a South African dried beef farmers sausage
  • Olive oil - frying, and adding to foods for energy
  • Chocolate bars - one each per day
  • Tortillas - perfect bread, pockets for fried eggs etc...
  • Marshmallows - for sweet fun

To ensure all the toiletry and beauty regimes are maintained rigorously, here is the kit-bag list:
  • Alka-Seltzer - in case of sour tummies
  • Toilet paper - oragami
  • Tooth brushes - to maintain sparkling teeth and healthy gums
  • Camping Suds - to wash away the grime
  • Insect Repellent - the repel the buzzing hordes
  • Imodium - in case of the body's aversion to lake water
  • Aspirin/Anti-inflammatory - for the ouchies, the aches and ows
  • Band-Aids - to hold the blood in and to cushion the blisters
  • Hair dryer (nope, just seeing if you're paying attention)

Gear must be brought to do the things that must be done:
  • Compass - lest we get lost in the woods
  • Fire steel - sparks to start the fires
  • Garbage Bag - hang upon a tree
  • Axe - chop down other tree
  • Sharpener - keep the axe and knife sharp
  • Headlamp and 1 set of spare AAA batteries - good for reading at night
  • Rope - to put up the tarp and make a clothes line and tie up unruly bears
  • Stove & Full Fuel Bottle - for a quick brew
  • Mora knife - oh the love of my camping life
  • Folding Bucksaw - to take apart the felled tree
  • Dry Sacks - keep the gear organized and dry in the rain and canoe
  • Emergency Blanket - lest it get really cold and an accident transpires
  • Tarp - for a dry spot if it rains
  • Mattress & Repair kit - lest the Thermarest pops
  • Legless Camping Chairs - to keep our backs from cracking
  • Sleeping Bags - to keep the toes warm at night
  • Tent - home
  • Pillow case - to store clothes that comprise the pillow
  • Books - to keep the semblance of civilization
  • Digital Camera & 2 batteries - to capture Sasquatch images
  • Radio with fresh batteries - to listen to CBC in the long hours

And finally, without having to rely on pelts and trapped furs, and plaited primitive grass clothing, these 'habits' should be transported either upon or about the person (she and me):
  • Jeans, Wool cap - bum and head warm
  • Socks, Underwear - toes and nether regions warm
  • T-Shirt, Shirt, Gap Wool Blue Sweater - torso warm
  • Wool sweater - torso warm
  • Blanket for Monty - hound dog comfy and warm at night

Thank you for reading - it is now time to do more stuff.


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