My next camping trip




Were I to go camping for a week I would figure out exactly where I want to go - likely Algonquin Park - see a 5 Mb highly-detailed PDF map here.

And I'd then gather my gear together and pack it efficiently in a knapsack:

  • tent
  • sleeping bag
  • self-inflating mattress
  • hatchet
  • fixed blade knife
  • rope
  • jeans
  • shirt
  • jacket
  • boxers
  • 2 changes socks - I can wash them if needed
  • wind-up / battery radio - for the boring times
  • novel
  • Flashlight & batteries
  • Lantern, stove and naptha fuel
  • Garbage Bags, zip lock bags
  • Mug, spoon, fork, cooking pot, frying pan
  • paper towels
  • Dish detergent in a small shampoo bottle
  • Blanket for Monty
  • Toiletries
  • First aid items (bandaids, disinfenctant, antibiotics, pills galore)
  • Matches
  • Compass
  • Emergency flourescent light sticks (2)
  • Pencil, paper, book
  • folding chair
  • pillow


Pack my food nicely in plastic:

  • Biltong
  • tea bags
  • cheddar cheese
  • tortillas
  • lemon drink crystals
  • milk powder
  • noodle side-dish packets
  • bacon
  • dog kibble
  • dried mashed potatoes
  • chili mix - dehydrated
  • cooking oil (in a small water bottle)
  • eggs
  • tabascoe sauce
  • pepper
  • salt
  • sugar
  • Chocolate bars
  • Oatmeal pouches, raisins or dates etc…
  • Nalgene water bottle
  • Hot chocolate and coffee mix with coffee whitener
  • A nice Cuban cigar
  • Mickey of good gin

Then I'd gas up the car, drive up there with Monty in the back seat (Spring prefers 5 star accomodation), rent a canoe, canoe for some hours, portage in a little way, canoe in the rest of way, pick a good spot, and make camp in this order:

  1. Shelter - set up tent wit sleeping bags and organize kit
  2. Fire - arrange fire pit, get firewood, start fire going
  3. Food - get cooking gear out and ready - along with lantern and cooking stove.
  4. Chair - Having eaten, place chair at water's edge for a nice view, bring gin and lemon-crystal inspired drink, and cigar and match. Bring blanket so Monty can sit beside me, bring some treats for him (he doesn't smoke cigars)
  5. Relax.

Wonko Web post of December 8th, 1998.

Here is a post I've found from 1998:

December 8th, 1998.

I went camping in Algonquin this past weekend. I left Thursday and got back Sunday night. I feel quite refreshed and ready to tackle society and its crony minions once again. I saw three otters, two pheasants, several neat looking birds, and one dead snake. It rained one night, but a book and a very hot fire distracted me from that. Mew Lake is where I made base, about forty kilometres into the park.

Note for next time: bring less food. I was burning food to get rid of it. Note for next time: prepare food for quick and easy use. I was chopping onions and potatoes with a boning knife wearing socks over my hands in the cold drizzle. Have these items already diced up, as it will already be cold and I have no need to be worried about spoilage or browning.

Before I made it to Algonquin, I tried Arrowhead, and it was closed for the winter. Brilliant me. So I back-tracked to Gravenhurst, found an ex-Oakvillian named Blair whiling away his hours in a bar, staring off into nothingness. We proceeded to the Albion Bar. The establishment had hired two strippers, and we played pool, and drank beer. I felt bad for the strippers, the whole place is entirely seedy and about as backwater as you can get, and the 'gentleman' they gravitated towards, and who without a doubt probably had a business interest in their performance, looked like the Grim Reaper meets ZZ Top. I slept in my car that night, and left at seven the next morning to a more suitable location, Algonquin.

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